what matters

looking everyday in the mirror
i get many questions looking myself in the mirror

Do i deserve anyone? could anyone like and fall for me ?

That was the day when i lost trust in myself .. when his friends said i look ugly those friends whom i used to meet with eye to eye contact and Now i think 100 times to put photos on social media..!!

May be i could have gathered trust in myself if we tried it together but you never gave a look at me properly.

i was thirsty for his compliment and attention but never got it and i ended up being sad somehow i managed myself i tried harder but reached to that zero point again when he used to look for other girls.

i realized i lack something and still i feel he same as his choices change again and again how much ever i try but i will never be liked by you and now i am afraid will anyone even look up and like me?!

THAT FEELING!

That feeling when everything sucks ,
you cannot understand and perceive anything.

Even if you try really hard , you fail to or cannot centralize your mind..

you feel hopeless , you cannot even think

what would be the next thing that you will be doing!?

Feels like crying , then the next thought that comes ,crying is not an option.

May be he will call ,may be not… could he be able to do this for me?

But you cannot force him to call . it gets blank.

you cannot think anything . Neither you can share your feelings nor you can tell to anyone and cannot even tell to anyone about it because you are hundred percent sure that the person will judge you or else tell it’s insane .

Mind knows but heart takes time to accept.

Heartbeats start throbbing .you don’t know what is going to be the next thing.you badly keep on waiting for the call of that person knowing that the person would give chance to any other girl to enter into his life.

Knowing everything , you still wait for his call and hoping the things will be alright someday.

That feeling………..

You only know that the person would never be replaced!!

when it all started

I always used to wait for summer vacations amidst the chaos. I had a belief that i would live my life in happiness only during those summer days. It made me focus more on my future than to live in present . I used to live my life full of imagination and dreams , a way to escape the chaos . I forgot to live in present and somewhere, it still continues.